Auto-Correct: The Great Leveler

By James Conlon

 

Question:

What do Arnold Schoenberg, Edouard Manet, Francois Rene Chateaubriand and Titus Andronicus have in common?

Answer:

My spell-check doesn’t recognize their names.

 

About eighteen months ago, bending under a barrage of criticism and pressure to start tweeting, I began.  Entering the world of social media was not my thing. Remarks like “Get with it, Dad!” were the last straw.

I called my friend and colleague Esa-Pekka Salonen, who was already a tweeter, to ask how it worked. His presence on Twitter lent the whole thing some respectability. He was very helpful and, feeling slightly more comfortable and marginally less embarrassed, I proceeded.

A short time ago I saw one of his tweets, which are highly imaginative and invariably humorous. He recounted that he had entered the word “Sudafed” in some text he was writing, and his spell-check corrected it to “Dudamel” (because, I suppose, the auto-correct on Esa-Pekka’s device had “learned” the word Dudamel and was helpfully “assuming” his true intent…).

I am constantly astonished at what my spell-check doesn’t recognize. It was certainly not created with classical music or musicians in mind. I started to collect examples, like artifacts.  After reading Esa-Pekka’s tweet, I decided to share some of my findings. I offer:

 

AN ABC OF AUTO-CORRECTION  (only the tip of an iceberg):

The composer is on the left (you knew that) and the suggested alternative on the right.

ADES                          HADES

BERLIOZ                     BELIZE

BRITTEN                     BRITTANY (AS IN FRANCE)

BRUCKNER                 TRUCKER

COPLAND                   SCOTLAND

DVORAK                     DORKS

FAURE                        FARCE

GERSHWIN                 GEARSHIFT

HINDEMITH                HINDERMOST/INDEMNITY

IBERT                         LIBERTY

JANACEK                    JAMAICA

KORNGOLD                CORNFIELD

LUTOSLAWSKI            GLUTTONS/LOUTS

MILHAUD                    MILKMAID

ORFF                          DOFF/RUFF

PROKOFIEV                 PORKPIE/PUFF

RACHMANINOFF         RANCHMAN/DRACHMA

SALONEN                    SALOON

SCHOENBERG             SCHEMER/SCORNER/SCHOONER

TAKAMITSU                STALAGMITES/THALAMUS

ULLMANN                   MULLIGAN/SULLIVAN

VARESE                      OVARIES

WEILL                         DWELL/SWELL

XANAKIS                    ANTACIDS/HANKIES

YSAYE                        SAUTE/SPAYED

ZWILICH                     ZILCH/ZIPLOC

 

I guess classic music hasn’t quite made it yet.  But neither have Matisse , Manet, Van Gogh, Pissaro, Toulouse-Lautrec.

I need a Sudafed!

 

JAMES CONLON           COLON/COLONY/COLOGNE

 

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